Born in Louisville, Kentucky, the brainscanning brothers first met at age 3 when brains slammed brains'es head into the wall for pulling his pants down in the sand-pit. They have been friends ever since. At age 25, finding themselves single and without any hope for the future, they wander the streets looking for stray mooses and winos whose brains they can scan. So sit back and relax as we follow their hilarious adventures as they try to fill in their time in between trying to fire with the birds and trying to find some meaning to life...


brains master chicken herder

Always willing to try new things, brains is goaded into highly dangerous and illicit activities at the whim of his partner brains.

Likes: birds, lighting fires in the street, knocking down poles, psycho mooses, eating tyres and masturbating.

Firing record: claims to have fired with a bird called 'rodger', however has not fired since meeting brains.


brains (fucked)

Abandoned in the wild when he was 1 and raised by a pack of psycho meerkats, brains is a very sensitive and moody beast, who some people have described as "fucked".

Likes: being close to brains at all times, niggers, squirrels, birds, mules and cyborgs.

Diet: lettuce, flour and grubs.

Firing record: has never fired.

The Guv'na

the guv mortified by the brainses antics

Dignity, propriety, and social etiquette all characterise the guv, who is the brainscanning brothers mentor and carer, although he is often mortified by the brainscanning brothers antics.

Likes: politics, the bible and birds.

Firing record: Unknown.

Birko Bezerko

birko bezerko (psycho version)

Voted "most likely to snap" by his graduating class of 1989, birko bezerko is a highly strung individual who uses his loud mouth and blatant insults to get the brainscanning brothers into big troubles.

Likes: nothing.

Hobbies: stalking celebrity models

Diet: meat

Firing record: Undisclosed.

The Beast

the beast unhappy with the current state of affairs

The Beast (aka 'The Beast of Buenos Aires') is a highly volatile character who gets the brainscanning brothers out of their troubles by using extreme violence.

Likes: Computer games, explosives, and driving tractors through brick walls.

Firing record: Sporadic.

Nigger boy

nigger boy, indifferent to everything

Prime motivator and mastermind behind all plans, nigger-boy is the brainscanning brothers pet cat who unbeknownst to them has supreme control over the brainscanning brothers and their hair-brain schemes.

Likes: crunchy biscuits, nugget (his best friend down the road), fleas.

Firing record: can fire at will, but is not interested.

Mighty Mule

nighty mule being stubborn

The brainscanning brothers primary mode of transport in emergency situations, mighty mule grazes all day in the brainscanning brothers back yard and refuses to budge.

Likes: Eating grass, ignoring people.

Firing record: is a mule.

Brought to you by "Marvees". Official cigarette of the brainscanning brothers. Marvy, Marvy!

marvy, marvy!

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